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Dear 2015,

 

I had an interesting year with you last year. One filled with many hurdles, heartbreaks and challenges; but in turn one blessed with triumphs, successes and much joy. What is clear is that after every experience, I felt a sense of growth and further understanding of what it was that fortitude entailed. I learned that I was emotionally capable of far more than what I had been giving myself credit for. I found that my past, the downfalls that I had once allowed to consume me did not actually represent who I was as a human being nor did they dictate where my life would proceed to in the future. To provide an unbiased and accurate measurement and critique, you were definitely a year of growth for me.

As I contemplated embarking on 2016, I reflected deeply about how to take this 2015 momentum forward. I’m not necessarily one to set New Year resolutions but I did layout in my mind a few points for exploration. At the beginning of 2015, I actively implemented the strategy of staying present in each and every moment. I’d realised that I was robbing myself of joy and happiness by constantly living in a future that may or may not occur. It was fuelling my anxiety and impacting on the relationships I had with those around me. At the dawn of the 2016 New Year, I vowed to take this one step further after a year of implementing this strategy quite well. I was however, taken by surprise at the ease in which I was able to take the next step.

For some reason, I have come into the 2016 year with a sense of contentment, zen and peace. By implementing the ‘stay present in each moment’ strategy, I have been able to enjoy the presence of those around me, cherish my loved ones more deeply and practice gratitude for each and every day. I’ve come to realise how much of a gift this existence is; and yet at the same time how fleeting and impermanent it is. What this realisation has done is unlocked a sense of inner peace that has always been present, but dormant in me. It’s also further sparked my passion and fervour for life, for my goals and for making a place for myself in this world that is beyond just me.

As I enter and experience 2016, I feel a renewed sense of a commitment to make my impact on this world. I envision formulating my own unique imprint on society and actioning it with a fierce rigour this year. In the past, I have been guilty of spending too much of my time either being fearful of the future or trying to manipulate it into being in one way or another. I haven’t been able to stay present for long enough to understand that the future will come as a result of my investment in the here and now.

What you have taught me 2015, is that the key to moving forward is looking to the future with an open heart and understanding that there will always be some things that remain unresolved or up in the air at this present moment in time. However, what will determine whether or not we can move past these unknowns is by continuing on our chosen path in spite of these and not allowing them to debilitate us with crippling self doubt.  All of the questions of: Will I find the one? Am I making the right choice? Is my biological clock ticking away? – these, at this point in time are unanswerable. However, I will not allow the open ended nature of such to stand in the way of forging forward without these answers.

So I have to thank you 2015, because you’ve taken me on a journey to where I am now; albeit a treacherous and difficult one. I know I have a way to go with balancing out my innate tendency to dream and idealise but I’m content with the progress of my journey so far. Nonetheless, you’ve brought me to a place where I trust and believe in my destiny, where I see the beauty and potential in every moment. Where I treat every relationship with the respect, gratitude, freedom and openness it deserves; and most importantly, allow for the future to play out as a result of my investment in the present.

I am forever grateful.

Sabene is a Development worker, Gender rights advocate, Writer and Blogger, based in Melbourne, Australia. She is passionate about social change, traveling, culture and women. You can find her inspiring blogs at https://sabenegomes.wordpress.com/

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